It's said: "In advertising you can't be any good if you haven't been fired." I've been fired four times. I must be very good.

To be honest, I don't recall doing anything worth getting fired for. Twice, the guy who hired me left the agency shortly after bringing me in. I don't think that helped. Another time my boss's old buddy came to our agency seeking a job and someone had to be let go (guess who) to make room. I've read that 80% of corporate firings are political executions, so I've tried not to take it too personally. I also come from a heritage of entrepreneurs and I haven't ruled out the possibility that my corporate allergies are genetic.

When unemployed -- besides the paranoia of never getting hired again -- you get to experience the purgatory of The Unemployment Office. I'm convinced they intentionally make it a depressing place. This is not a place where you'll be served wine and cheese while waiting. And, to be blunt, the city employees who work in the unemployment office aren't exactly Rhodes Scholars. If these people weren't there they'd probably be collecting tolls. It's kinda like a Twilight Zone episode where everything is reversed. Out-of-work executives suddenly find themselves at the mercy of uneducated clerical workers -- and it's payback time. I'm tellin' you, the Unemployment Office experience will definitely motivate you to go on a few interviews.

There is one fun side of standing in the unemployment line: watching the people. It's like a Fellini movie. There's the dapper Wall Street guy buried in his Journal, pretending he's in a bank line, while trying to ignore the drooling guy next to him who hasn't showered in a week. There's the pregnant mother trying to corral her five screaming kids. And, of course, there are the actors. You can always tell the actors. They're the ones reading a script, or Tom Clancy novel, or a copy of Variety. They're also the only ones who actually seem comfortable being there. For them, the unemployment line is just another part of their regular routine. Like with ad folks.

©2002 John Follis. All rights reserved.